Family cut me off after blaming me for dad’s death – I was just a kid

DEAR DEIDRE: HALF of my family has completely cut me off.
It hurts so much, especially because I was particularly close to one of my sisters.
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I lost my dad when I was 13 and I’ve learned that they all blame me for his death. It doesn’t even make sense.
I have two brothers, 53, and 55, and one sister, 56. They were all adults and already had their own families when Dad died.
My mum was his second wife so I’m their half-brother.
After Dad died suddenly of a heart attack, Mum and I moved away.
I’m male and 38. I’ve tried to re-establish a relationship with my dad’s side of the family but none of them want to know.
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Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
I struggled with my mental health and losing my dad is a big part of my problems.
How could I possibly be responsible for Dad’s death when I was just a kid myself?
DEIDRE SAYS: People often blame one family member in order to create a distraction from their own unresolved issues.
Could you ask your mum or another trusted family member why they are making such a judgment?


It would also really help to talk to a bereavement counsellor about your loss and this rejection by your brothers and sister.
You can find the right kind of support by going to the Good Grief Trust’s website, goodgrieftrust.org, or see Cruse Bereavement Care (cruse.org.uk, free helpline 0808 808 1677).