DEAR DEIDRE: IT wasn’t until I became a dad that I realised a relationship I had when I was a 13-year-old boy was inappropriate. In fact, I think I was sexually abused.
I had a sexual relationship with a teaching assistant at my school. She was 42.
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We spent a lot of time together when I returned to school after an illness.
She was meant to be helping me to catch up academically. But we used to meet at her home for sex at the weekend.
This continued for almost two years until just before my 15th birthday.
Recently, while holding my newborn son in my arms, it hit me how disgusting the age gap was.
But I partly blame myself. I was old enough to understand what I was doing, and I wanted to do it too.
I regret ever getting involved with her.
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I’m 21 now and my girlfriend’s 20.
I’ve been considering telling my family, but I can’t find the courage.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not unusual for victims of child abuse to be unable to talk about it until much later.
What happened to you was rape and you are in no way to blame for what happened.
It would be ideal to report her to the police – especially if she is still working in schools.
Firstly, talk in confidence with NAPAC – National Association For Adults Abused In Childhood (napac.org.uk, 0808 801 0331), who will support you with your next steps.
